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I'll call my new planet whatever I want!
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Sylvia: Eons ago, a beacon of hope shone forth to guard the good and wipe out the wicked. The might, the myth, the mech known as Robomechabotatron! A nearly indestructible suit of armor, created to save the galaxy from threats no one planet alone could face! Its mission complete, the Robomechabotatron was entombed on a hidden planet until the galaxy needed it again. A cosmic super-weapon! A crusader for justice. Robomechabotatron!
Wander: Sure sounds nifty.
Sylvia: Nifty? We are talking about a legendary robo-suit that could save the entire galaxy from Dominator!
Wander: Sorry, was neato more of the response you were looking for?
Peepers: Equipped with four unique battle stations, lunatanium shields, and a laso-matic broad-axe stronger than 23 krampulons!!
Hater: (enthusiastically) Ooh! I have no idea what any of that means.
Peepers: It means, with this mech, we can conquer Dominator and the entire galaxy!
Hater: I want that Roboshamalamadingdong!!
Peepers: And have it, you shall.
Sylvia: Behold. The robomechabota--
You?!
Peepers: You?!
Wander: Me!
Hater: That!
The Robo-mekaleka Mechahimichonga Habbahooba!
All: Ooh!
Hater: Dibs! (runs off)
Sylvia: Nuh-uh! (punches Peepers out of his helmet) That mecha's ours! And we're not gonna let you use it to take over the galaxy.
Peepers: No way, horse-ay! We're taking down Dominator.
Hater: You're just gonna use the mech to give out giant hugs or something!
Wander: Whoa, whoa, whoa! If we're all saving the galaxy from Dominator, why don't we drive this thingamajig together? The four of us working side by side as one big, happy team.
Hater: It's my robobabybuggybumper!
Sylvia: Flab drass it. Locked.
Wander: Did you check under the mat?
Sylvia: Wander, this is an ancient class nine ultra-mech warrior. They're not gonna hide--
Wander: Found it.
Hater: Aw, looks like I got the Robomeenieminiemotron and you got nada. Sor-ry!! Just to be clear, I'm being sarcastic. I do not feel bad about this at all.
Dominator: (laughing) Run, run, you easily terrified... chicken... things and... This is weak.
Bot 9: Lord Dominator, sensors have located the four individuals designated "those idiots." Subjects are commandeering a Decommissioned class nine ultra-mech warrior.
Dominator: Wait, what? Robomechabotatron?! Shut... UP!! Now that's a challenge! Initiate metamorphosis.
Dominator: All right, bring on the giant robot fight!
Peepers: (reading the manual) "Congratulations on your purchase of Robomechabotatron. For optimal use and care, please read this manual completely before--"
Hater: Manual schmanual! Go, Roborowyourboat, go! Arm cannon, nice. Laser axe, sweet! What's this do? [vibration] Oh, yeah! But wait. It feels like something's missing.
Peepers: One step ahead of you, sir.
[rock music]
Hater: Let's go kick some Dominator butt! [music distorts, slows, stops] Why aren't we kicking Dominator butt?
Peepers: Uh, well, there are four control centers. Two arms and two legs, which means...
[loud knocking]
Sylvia: Open up!
Peepers: Four pilots.
Hater: Forget that! Just gotta use... momentum... to shimmy us... forward!
[screaming]
Hater: Go, Robo-blahblahblah! Go!!
Sylvia: Sorry, Hater. We got a leg up on you.
Wander: Hey, since we're all here, why not drive this doohickey together?
Sylvia: Now is not the time to teach these selfish jerks about teamwork. It's time to save the galaxy!
[all scream]
Sylvia: Go, Robomechabotatron, go! [clank] Huh? The flarfin' door is jammed. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
[loud knocking]
Hater: Open up!
Wander: Sure seems like we could use a hand. And by hand, I mean a metaphorical helping hand. But also, a literal hand. Yep, a helpful hand-helping hand sure would come in handy right now.
Sylvia: I get it. The hand. And no, they can't. I got this! [Sylvia running upstairs, panting and muttering] [footsteps running]
Dominator: [sighing] [humming] Where are they? (Bot 9 appears) Finally! Let's do-- Oh, it's you.
Bot 9: Situation report. Robomechabotatron has not yet arrived.
Dominator: Oh, really? What tipped you off? The complete lack of awesome robot fighting?! Get outta my mech face. (flicks Bot 9 away) What is taking those dorks so long?
Sylvia: [panting] Maybe if you hold one foot-- Wander? Wander?
Wander: Mi roboto es su roboto.
Sylvia: Whoa! Wander, are you nuts? You can't trust these two.
Hater: It's my Robomccrackalackadon!
Sylvia: You're not even saying it right!
Wander: STAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWP!! [sighs] Come on, guys. Robomechabotatron--
Hater: That's not how you say it.
Wander: --was created to save the galaxy from threats no one planet could face. The galaxy is bigger than any one of us, and it needs all of us to save it. In the spirit of this mighty mech, should we not put aside our petty differences to work together and save the galaxy?!
Peepers: If we have to.
Sylvia: Fine.
Hater: Whatevs.
Wander: (hugs them) Seems like we're becomin' friends!
All: Battle stations!
Hater: Hey, it's actually working.
Wander: That's because there is no "I" in Robomechabotatron. ...I think.
Peepers: Door-opening sequence, activate.
Hater: Go, Robo...
Peepers ...mecha...
Wander: ...bota...
Sylvia: ...tron!
All: Go!
All: Dominator?
Wander: Dominator!
Dominator: I'm done waiting. Mama wants a robo battle, and Mama wants it now!
Sylvia: Bring...
Peepers: ...it...
Hater: ...on!
[buzzer]
Wander: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know we were gonna be fighting with this doodad!
Peepers: What else do you do with a super-charged attack suit?!
Wander: This who-sama-whats-is could be doing so much more good than harm. Fixing roads, transporting supplies, giving out giant hugs.
Hater: I knew it! Every time!
Dominator: Um, any day now!
Sylvia: One second.
Look, you're the one who wanted us to team up. So are you gonna join us in this...
Peepers: ...sure to be totally epic...
Hater: ...robot fight or not?!
Wander: [sighs] If that's what the group wants, I won't try to stop you.
Sylvia: The galaxy thanks you, buddy.
All: Activate battle mode!
Dominator: Finally!
Hater: Go, Robo...
Peepers: ...mecha...
Sylvia: ...bota...
Hater: What the--? Why did... I wanna use my laser axe! [sobbing]
Sylvia: Wander, what's going on down there?
Wander: Sorry. I won't stop ya, but I gotta stand for what I believe in.
Dominator: Hey, we doin' this or what?
Hater: Forget it! We don't need him! (Hater uses the axe to chop off the left leg, separating Wander from the Robomechabotatron.)
Hater: Feel the might of Robomochasaskatchewan! (Robomechabotatron falls back.) No, no, no, no, no!
(When Robomechabotatron hits the ground, its missiles are launched into the air and fall back down.)
Hater, Peepers, and Sylvia: [screaming] Activate escape mode!
(Hater, Peepers, and Sylvia's footsteps are heard approaching the head, which they use to escape the Robomechabotatron's body before the missiles blow it up.)
Dominator: But my giant robo fiiight! [sighs] You know what? Fine. I can still roast those dumb Cluckons with this thing.
Bot 9: In your absence, the Cluckons had enough time to evacuate. The chickens have flown the coop. [shrieking]
Dominator: Forget it! You guys are the worst, and I hate you all!
(Cut back to the Hater, Peepers, Sylvia, and Wander who look furiously mad expect Wander who seems very happy.)
Wander: Would ya look at that? Even without a fight, we still rescued Cluckon. See. Working together saved the day!
(Hater raises his hand)
Hater: All in favor of NEVER working together again?
Hater, Peepers and Sylvia: Aye!
Wander: (hugs them again) Seems like we're becoming friends.
(Hater, Peepers, and Sylvia groan in disgust.)
Gross.
Bleh.