(Scene opens up showing the Skullship. It zooms in on the eye, transitioning to the front of a monitor room with a control panel. The back of a big chair is shown, on which a watchdog is sitting.)
Watchdog: Sector G, hall one, all clear.
(Presses a button)
Watchdog: Sector G, hall two, all clear.
(Presses a button)
Watchdog: Sector G, hall three.
(He looks at the camera)
Watchdog: Oh! Hi. Oh, I didn't see you there. (He points a finger to the camera) Hey, you know, you're not really allowed in here. Top secret security stuff.
(The camera changes view, he turns to look at it)
Watchdog: But. If you've ever wondered about what keeps Lord Hater's galactic domination machine running, well, then, you're in for a real treat, because it's time for...
(The camera cuts to an intro, with low-quality images and photos appearing one after another, revealing the text "The Eye On the Skull Ship with Andy the Watchdog!")
Andy: This is Eye On the Skull Ship! I'm Andy, your humble host, and I'd like to welcome you to a very special episode.
(He presses a button and the camera cuts to one of the monitors, showing various watchdogs) We all know that life on the skull ship can be tedious at times, one routine work day seamlessly blending into the next. (Andy is shown again, turning to the camera once again)
Andy: But today is going to be different. Today, I'm proud to bring you...
(He imitates a drum-roll, then presses another button. All the monitors change to reveal a picture of Lord Hater with Andy introducing him and an explosion in the background)
Andy: A one-on-one with Lord Hater! That's right. I put in a formal request to interview our esteemed leader and-
(A part of the control panel turns red and starts making noises)
Andy: Oh, my gracious! Maybe that's Hater now. Okay. (He exhales, then presses a button) Hello, you're live on Eye On the Skull Ship with Andy, chief security monitor-
(All the monitors change to reveal Peepers)
Peepers: (angrily) I know who you are, Andy. (Andy falls off his chair, stands up and sits in it again) This is Commander Peepers. Once again, your request to interview Lord Hater has been rejected on grounds that it's not your job to make this stupid show!
Andy: Well, it's not my job, per se, but you know, I think it's my duty to help enlighten-
Peepers: Just keep an eye on your sector.
Andy: (salutes) Yes, sir! Always do.
Peepers: No, you don't!! (the monitor changes back)
Andy: Well, slight change of plans. Looks like we won't be talking to Lord Hater. But fret not, dear viewers. I know you're dying to see him, and I won't give up until I give you what you want. In the meantime, I bet you're wonderin'... (The camera cuts to another intro, with more low-quality images and photos appearing one after another, then cuts to the Food Court) What's for lunch? (sighs) That's right. It's the 453rd time we find out exactly what the Watchdogs are eating for lunch. (He turns to one of the watchdogs walking by with a plate) Excuse me, fellow Watchdog. What refreshing and replenishing meal has been graciously given to you by our generous leader Lord Hater?
Watchdog: Oh, wow. Uh, hi. Um, apparently, I have never been on live television before, and apparently, I'm having enchiladas. (He gets the plate closer to the camera) Apparently. (The enchilada falls off the plate)
Andy: Fascinating! (He walks up to another watchdog) And what delicious-
Watchdog: (raises his plate) Enchiladas!
(All the watchdogs in the food court gather around Andy and begin cheering)
Watchdogs: Enchiladas! Enchiladas!! Enchiladas!!! (One of the watchdogs lifts up his shirt to reveal a tattoo of an enchilada. The camera cuts to Andy standing in the kitchen next to the chef. As the two talk, more and more watchdogs appear in the background, looking at the camera)
Andy: Chef, tell us, enchiladas. Was this meal specifically chosen by Lord Hater's decree?
Chef: (takes the microphone) Uh... no. Taco Tuesday was yesterday, so there was leftovers, and I decided to make, uh, enchiladas.
Andy: (pull the microphone back) Hmm, interesting. So does Lord Hater like enchiladas?
Chef: I don't know. All I know is, I didn't want the stuff to go to waste, so I reused it today.
Andy: Hm, yes. But Lord Hater-
Chef: (takes the microphone again, Andy tries to pull it back, proceeding to have a tug of war, until he gives up) See, the thing- the thing with ground beef is, you gotta... (The camera cuts to another transition, then to Andy standing in the middle of a gym. The other watchdogs are shown practicing)
Andy: Self-defense, where the Watchdogs closest to Hater, his elite ground troops, learn the fine art of conquering. And if we're lucky, Lord Hater might make a surprise pop-in to inspect the troops. To be the best takes months of intense training in areas like... (The camera cuts to a punching bag of Sylvia. Multiple watchdogs attempt to attack it, but none succeed) Advanced Sylvia Defense, and, of course, Wander Avoidance Tactics.
Trainer: (holds a Wander plushie tied to a stick, shaking it as he speaks as the other watchdogs listen) I know he wants to be your friend. I know he wants to play carnival games. I know he knows all your names, and birthdays, and how you like to spend a rainy Sunday with a crossword and a cup of chamomile. (Hugs the plushie) I mean, he is really not such a bad guy.
Peepers: (shows up, kicks the trainer, throws the plushie on the ground, stomps on it and shakes it vigorously) No! Wander is pure, unadulterated love!
Andy: (Is shown standing next to the same trainer, who readjusts his hat) I'm sure our resident drill instructor has a host of exciting Hater stories to share with us.
Trainer: (Puts his hands on his hips) You're darn right I do! One time-
Peepers: Andy! (The camera cuts to Peepers running towards it) Why aren't you at your post?!
Andy: (starts running away as the camera faces down, showing his feet) Uh, gotta go! See you next time!!
(Another transition is shown, with the last frame having the text "H8r watch", which changes to a skull. The camera zooms out, revealing one of the levels of the Skullship)
Andy: We are live from Level H8, Hater's private floor. Only Watchdogs in Hater's inner circle are allowed on this level. I hope to speak with someone close to the big man himself. Though it's risky, it's worth it, because this is the story every Watchdog is waiting for. I wonder who we'll- (He's interrupted as one of the doors in front of him opens and a watchdog holding a leash is seen dragged all across the place: he disappears into the corridor ahead, as Andy gets up and walks towards the camera) Oh, my gosh. That was Captain Tim, Lord Hater's personal pet. This is a sure-fire exclusive! (He runs towards the corridor. The camera cuts to him, the watchdog holding the leash and Captain Tim) We're here with Lord Hater's personal pet and dog walker. Wow. What I wouldn't give to work so closely - with our great leader.
Watchdog: (gives him the leash) Be my guest!
(Andy takes the leash as the watchdog jumps out of Captain Tim's way; the latter proceeds to maul Andy)
(The camera cuts to yet another transition, after which Andy is shown again, with a cast on his left arm)
Andy: Welcome again to Eye On the Skull Ship. Thanks to some of the guys in the infirmary, I was able to secure an exclusive place at one of Hater's rallies! Whoo- (he kicks his right leg up in the air, then puts it back down) ow, ow!
(Hater is heard speaking indistinctly on the stage. Andy is shown at the very end of the room, very far from it)
Andy: (Looks to the camera, then to the stage, squinting) Fear not, viewers. Though I can barely see or hear our esteemed leader, I assure you, I will get at least some of the Hater coverage you demanded.
(Hater is heard speaking indistinctly again)
Andy: He's talking about his hated rival Lord Dominator. Boooooo!! (Pauses) And now he's saying he'll... conquer... her... heart? That can't be right.
(Peepers is shown standing on the stage next to Hater, shouting indistinctly)
Andy: Well, Peepers seems to be getting very upset about this. (Pauses, squints again) Hater's pulling out what appears to be some kind of... It's the T-shirt cannon!!!
(Watchdogs are seen running away with fear. Some of them get hit with the T-shirts. One of the watchdogs runs past Andy, causing the latter to fall over. More watchdogs are shown trying to escape. One of the T-shirts flies at Andy as he screams in slow-motion. He groans and looks down. The camera zooms out to reveal the shirt as Andy read the text written on it)
Andy: "I Heart Dominator"?..
(A shadow looms over him as he looks up. It's revealed to be Peepers, looking very upset.)
Andy: Oh boy.
(The camera cuts back to the monitor room, with Andy sitting in the same chair as before)
Andy: Hello, all. After a serious close call with Commander Peepers, your humble host has decided to do the show entirely from the safety of his security office, so he won't... get... fired... But! You won't believe who stopped by for a little chat with us. The one and only Lord Hater! (He holds up a paper craft version of Lord Hater and proceeds to ventriloquize)
"Hater": Hi, Andy. It sure is an honor to be here. Huge fan of the show.
Andy: Really? Oh, well, sir, that really means the world to me.
(Continues to ventriloquize while the monitors show the real Hater looking for something)
"Hater": And each and every one of you Watchdogs mean the world to me, Andy. In fact, I'd like to thank all the Watchdogs for their tireless service. They're truly the backbone of the skull ship, and- (stops)
Andy: (Sadly) Oh, who am I kidding? I'm sorry, everyone. (crumples the paper version of Hater) I was a fool to think I could give you a good show. I'll never get a Lord Hater interview.
(The camera zooms out to show the door opening. Hater walks in, appearing intimidating at first)
Hater: Hey, uh, my printer stopped working. (He goes up to Andy as the watchdog jumps in surprise) It says I need toner. (He points at him) Are... you Toner?
Andy: (nervously) I, uh... I, uh...
Hater: (notices the camera and walks up to it) You do TV here?
Andy: (stammering) Uh, yes, sir. Unless... that would get me in trouble... in which case... no.
Hater: (gets close to the camera) How many people watch your show? (Turns to look at Andy)
Andy: Oh, it goes out all over.
(Hater looks back at the camera with a cunning smile)
Hater: All over, huh?
(The camera cuts to Andy sitting on a chair behind a table in a dark room)
Andy: Dear viewers, it is with the deepest pride that I present to you the man, the myth, the leader I'm honored to serve. The greatest in the galaxy. (The camera zooms out to reveal the skeleton) Lord Hater. Lord Hater, how are you?
Hater: Good to be here Toner. (Pauses, then jumps on the table, knocking both chairs over) Listen up, and listen good! All you poser villains out there better recognize who the G-est in the G is! It's Lord Hater, number one superstar! You want a piece of me, Emperor Dork-some? Got beef, Sandwich? (Andy walks up to Hater nervously, glancing at him and at the camera) Then bring it on, losers! I will lightning you so hard- that you'll be all, like- like- like "Oh, no, I don't like it! Help me!"
Andy: (simultaneously with Hater) Oh, uh, sir... I- just- excuse me...
(Hater stops, then looks at him)
Hater: How dare you interrupt my righteous rant to the galaxy?!
Andy: I'm sorry, sir. It's just that, you see, when I said the show went out all over, I meant all over the skull ship. (laughs nervously) Not the galaxy.
Hater: (surprised) Wait. So who actually watches this?
Andy: Well, I don't have the exact figures handy... it certainly has the potential to be viewed by, you know, anyone on the ship, so mostly Watchdogs, I think.
Hater: Watchdogs?! You make a show for Watchdogs?! That's the stupidest, lamest thing ever! I mean, really?! This show is stupid! You're stupid! You should both be cancelled. Hater out!
(Lightning flashes and Hater disappears. Andy looks at the camera sadly. Lightning flashes again, Hater reappears, flips over a table and disappears again. Andy looks at the camera sadly again. Camera cuts off)
Andy: (presses a button, getting sadder with each new sentence) Sector G, hall one, all clear. (releases the button and presses another one) Sector G, hall two, all clear. (releases the button and presses another one) Sector G, hall three, all clear.
(All the monitors change to reveal Peepers once more. Andy falls off his chair again, stands up and sits in it again)
Andy: Commander Peepers. Sir, I promise I stopped doing my stupid show. Nothing is going on.
Peepers: I know, that's the problem!
(The camera cuts to various watchdogs standing in front of Hater, holding signs saying "Eye am mad!", "Andy Fan", "Andy! Andy!" and "Not fair". Among the regular watchdogs, the trainer, the chef and the watchdog who takes Captain Tim for walks are shown)
Watchdogs: (chanting repeatedly) Andy fan, best show!
(The camera cuts to Peepers again)
Peepers: The Watchdogs are rioting! Apparently, they wanna watch your weird little show about them. They claim your interviews made them feel special. Blergh!
Andy: (surprised) Wow... you mean... I didn't need a Hater interview? I was making the show the Watchdogs wanted all along? A show that made them feel special? Wow. I mean... that that makes me feel special.
Peepers: Yeah, yeah, just make your stupid show.
Watchdogs: Enchiladas! Enchiladas!!!
(Multiple watchdogs surround Peepers, who crosses his arms in annoyance. Just like before, one of the watchdogs lifts up his shirt to reveal a tattoo of an enchilada. The monitors change back.)
(The camera zooms in on Andy's chair. He turns around happily.)
(Another intro plays. Andy is then shown in a tailor's room with another watchdog.)
Andy: Welcome to Eye On the Skull Ship, the only show for Watchdogs, about Watchdogs, by a Watchdog, for Watchdogs. I am your humble host, Andy the Watchdog, and today, I am here with Giuseppe, the ship's tailor. So, what's your secret?
Giuseppe: You see, the Watchdogs have the very big heads, and the very skinny necks. So it's all about the stretchy shirts. Then it's about the beanies and the booties and the glovies. (The camera cuts to Hater and Peepers watching Andy's show) If the Watchdogs don't look good, Giuseppe no look good.
Andy: Fascinating.
Hater: Uugh! Why would anyone watch this?
Peepers: I don't know, sir. I just don't know.
(The screen cuts to black.)
(In the animatic epilogue, a Watchdog is standing next to a beanbag with Sylvia drawn on it. He punches the beanbag, but the beanbag falls over on the Watchdog repeatedly. The logo shows up.)