[Episode starts with a sleep-deprived Peepers staring at a chalkboard covered in writing and charts. He draws a big question mark in the middle.]
Peepers: Nothing! We have nothing! No power, no planets, no plan! Dominator's obliterating the entire galaxy, and I've got no idea how to stop her!
[As Peepers talks, Lord Hater and some Watchdogs, sitting at a conference table, stare at him.]
Lord Hater: And she won't even go on a date with me.
Peepers: Sir, I'm sure being rejected by your most hated enemy that you're also in love with feels bad? But we really, really, really need a plan, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could really use your help!
Lord Hater: Yes! That's it!
Peepers: Really?! You know how to stop Dominator?
Lord Hater: Don't fret, C-Peeps, I have the perrrfect plan.
Peepers: Oh, thank Grop!
Lord Hater: I'm gonna finally go tell our NEIGHBOR [opens a window behind him, revealing a suburban-styled house with a messy lawn] to CLEAN UP HIS STUPID LAWN!
[Canned laughter]
Peepers: With all due respect, sir, we came to Suburbon V to lay low! Dominator would never look for us in this boring cul-de-sac, thus making it the perfect place to hide while we formulate our plan to save the galaxy so we can take it over again! [Peepers closes the window]
Lord Hater: But that jerk has the messiest yard on the block! And his leaves keep blowing onto our—[A leaf from the neighbor's lawn blows onto Hater's.] Rahh! He's doing it on purpose! [canned laughter]
[Hater marches over to the neighbor's house, fuming, and repeatedly rings the doorbell.]
Lord Hater: I may have lost the galaxy, but I'm not gonna let some dumb-wad neighbor mess with my turf!
[Emperor Awesome answers the door to canned applause.]
Emperor Awesome: Whaddup, Neighbroham?
Lord Hater: Wha? Emperor—
Emperor Awesome: Awesome in da cul-da-sizzy! What-what??
Lord Hater: [groans] What are you doing here?!
Emperor Awsome: Oh, uh, totally not terrified and hiding from D-D D-Domi...[camera zooms in on him as he grows more nervous] that lady villain and her horrifying, universe-ending onslaught and her fiery fiery fists, [jumps into Hater's arms] and don't let her get me! Nooo! [canned laughter] Oh, um, [clears throat] why are you here?
Lord Hater: Uh, totally not what you just said.
Emperor Awesome: Right. So. Wassup?
Lord Hater: Well, neighbor, I just wanted to come by and say CLEAN UP YOUR FILTHY LEAVES!!!
Emperor Awesome: Please. She may be in charge up there, but down here, this is my cul-de-sizzy. So cross me and it'll be the end of the road, neighbor!
Lord Hater: Watchdogs! Eyes up! [hits a button opening the garage door, where the Watchdogs are in formation]
Emperor Awesome: Fist Fighters! Punch it! [opens his garage, where the Fist Fighters are waiting]
Peepers: [intervenes on the fight] No! No powers, no armies, no fighting, or we'll be found out! Sir, is this one of those things where you obsess over something to cover up the real issue?
Lord Hater: Of course not! I just refuse to be publicly humiliated by Dominator—I mean, Domineighbor! [canned laughter] Our dumb neighbor. Nailed it!
Peepers: [sighs] And there it is. OK, listen! Just stay on your side of the street, you stay on ours, and for everyone's safety, shake hands and BE NEIGHBORLY!!
[both growl and aggressively shake hands. Canned applause over the title card.]
Peepers: [pushes them apart] No! No "Grrr"! Inside, both of you! [He storms off, dragging Hater with him.]
[Back in the brainstorming room]
Peepers: OK, sir, new plan. What do we know about Dominator?
[Leaf blower blaring and chuckling is heard from outside. Lord Hater rushes over and opens the window to find Awesome blowing all his leaves into Hater's yard.]
Emperor Awesome: Clean enough for ya, neighbor?
[Hater fumes. Peepers shuts the window and sighs. Immediately after, Hater runs outside to Awesome's lawn.]
Lord Hater: Raa!
[Awesome doesn't react and points the leafblower at him, covering him in leaves.]
Emperor Awesome: Ha-ha! You're welcome!
Lord Hater: RAAAAAA!! [begins zapping leaves, one by one] Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa!
[Nighttime. Hater is still outside zapping leaves.]
Lord Hater: Raa, raa, raa, raa, raa...
Peepers: Sir, please, this is pointless. We need to get some sleep and strategize fresh in the morning.
Lord Hater: Right, right. [grins evilly] In the morning! [Peepers groans and shoves him inside.]
[Morning. Hater is taking Captain Tim for a walk as the paperboy rides by.]
Paperboy: Aw, good morning, Mr. Hater.
Lord Hater: Morning, Jimmy. [Hater and Tim walk up to a tree in Awesome's lawn.] Go on, Tim, do your business. [Tim goes behind the tree, leaving fumes.] Good boy, Captain Tim.
[They walk away as the tree catches fire and canned laughter is played. Back in the brainstorm room, Peepers jolts awake amid a pile of used tissues.]
Peepers: AAHH!! Yes! The plan! The plan!
Lord Hater: [calmly sits down, stroking Captain Tim] Yes the plan. Now Peepers, how can I help?
Peepers: Really, you're not gonna...What about Awesome?
Lord Hater: Ha! I've got a feeling Awesome won't be bothering us ever again. [opens the window, but to his shock, Awesome's lawn is perfect again.] B-but how did he? The acid totally—
Peepers: Sir, now is not the time for a series of harebrained competitive antics! It's plan time and I really need your help!
[The door slams and Hater is gone]
Audience: Aww.
[A montage starts. Hater and Awesome confront each other by out-decorating their lawns with more and more extravagant decorations.]
Head back to the cul-de-sac to find a little peace and quiet But my next door neighbor's getting on my nerves And now sparks are flying, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every time I go outside Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every occupy for bad neighbors
[As the song ends, Hater starts playing guitar in his garage, and Awesome counters by turning on a boom box. Both keep turning up the volume, trying to drown out the other. Eventually, the noise gets so loud that it causes a neighborhood-wide explosion. Canned laughter is played as Hater's guitar disintegrates, and Awesome's garage closes on him.]
[Meanwhile, Peepers is hard at work huddling underneath a blanket in the brainstorm room.]
Peepers: Mm-hm, mm-hm, weld the treadwell to the fluxxor, supercharge the overthrusting oscillator, reflavven the aximus, and...and...DONE! I think I finally solved it, sir! Sir?
[opens the window to find Hater attempting to play baseball by himself]
Lord Hater: [grunting] Stupid wind! Bat must be crooked! Ball's not regulation! Too much gravity! [hits again, but the bat slips out of his hands and breaks a window]
Peepers: Inside. Now.
Lord Hater: To get my bat?
Peepers: No! To give me your opinion on my brilliant plan and WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL BEEPING?! [a truck backs into their driveway]
Lord Hater: A moving truck? Awesome is moving out! Yeeeees, I did it! I win! I win! I win! [does a corny dance over canned laughter]
[Back in the room]
Peepers: Now that I have your full, uninterrupted attention, allow me to present my plan to stop Dominator and take back the galaxy! Behold the one, the only—
[door bell rings, Hater scrambles to answer it]
Peepers: YAAAAAHHHH!!!
Lord Hater: [opens the door to Awesome, holding an extension cord] Oh, Awesome. I heard you were leaving and never ever ever ever ever eeeeever coming back. Welp, ta-ta, don't drop by anytime! [closes door]
Emperor Awesome: The only thing I'll be dropping is the phattest of beats at my sick end of the galaxy barbecue! [Hater opens the door again] That's right. All the escaped villains will be there. The cool ones, anyway. If D-Domin-aaahh...if SHE! is gonna take us out, we're going down partyin'! [points to a group of movers carrying an ice sculpture of Awesome] We'll be using all the parking spots on the block, including your driveway, [a ship parks in Hater's driveway] I'm running 14 hot tubs off your outlet. [kicks the TV out of the way and sticks a huge plug into the outlet. All the lights go out.] It's gonna be crazy loud, and it doesn't end until the galaxy does! [audience gasps] Then everyone will know that Emperor Awesome IS THE GREATEEEESSST!! In the cul-de-sac. [canned laughter] Oh, and just to be 100% clear, here's your non-invitation. [hands him a piece of paper with a picture of him and a no symbol]
Audience: Aww.
Emperor Awesome: Hasta!
Lord Hater: [the paper burns in his hands and he gives a huge roar] RRRRRRAAAAA~!!!
[Peepers yanks him into the room before slamming the door shut.]
Peepers: NO!! NO RAH!! YOU ARE GOING TO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE PLAN TO STOP DOMINATOR!!!
[Peepers pulls a blanket off of a model for a trap. He activates it by dropping a ball through a tube which goes through a series of contraptions ending with a net falling onto a figurine of Dominator. Peepers looks at Hater eagerly.]
Lord Hater: Uhh...
Peepers: [jumps up on the table, running towards Hater while smashing his entire model] Gaaahh! I knew it! This is a terrible plan! A net? A NET?! She shoots lava! [cries]
Lord Hater: No, Peepers, this could actually work.
Peepers: [gasps] Really?
Lord Hater: Yes! If we simply replace Dominator with Emperor Awesome, [replaces the Dominator figure with one of Awesome] we could totally ruin his stupid barbecue and I could become the greatest in the cul-de-sac! [canned laughter as Hater look out the window to see Awesome's barbecue underway.]
Peepers: Aaaaah! THAT'S IT! Who cares about the cul-de-sac? The galaxy is in danger! I've been asking for your help for days, but you'd rather waste your time playing pranks on a muscle-headed mackerel! Do you really wanna know how to stop that guy? [yelling] JUST THROW A BETTER BARBECUE! [runs outside and sets up the barbecue as he talks] Set the grill flame to 456 degrees! Food-to-guest ratio equals 3-Y to the N-power! [fills multiple bowls with chips] Execute Decor Protocol Omicron! [hangs up a row of paper lanterns] Play "Hater's Chill Mix" at 64 decibels! [throws a CD into a player] Hot sauce! Lemonade! Multiple spoons! Apron! [ties an apron on Hater and starts flipping burgers] Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! And don't skimp on the coleslaw! [slams a giant bowl of coleslaw onto the table and adorns it with a Hater flag] Dinner is served.
Kragthar of Kraaaaagtttthh: Whoa! Check out Hater's place! [All the villains dash over to Hater's driveway]
Emperor Awesome: What? Bros, you can't ditch me for that poser.
Lord Hater: Sorry, loser. Guess they're having too much fun over here with me: the greatest in the cul-de-sac! [canned applause] Way to go, Peepers! Couldn't have planned it better myself.
Peepers: Wait. Do you mean to say this whole time, all your juvenile, pointless neighborhood one-upsmanship was all to inspire me, to break me out of my planning funk? You've taught me that whether it's stopping a powerful villainess or throwing the perfect barbecue, when the chips are down, sometimes you need a small win to give you the confidence for a big win! Oh, thank you, sir! [hugs Hater as canned awww's are heard]
Lord Hater: Uhhh, yeah. That thing you said.
Peepers: Watchdogs, eyes up! [all the Watchdogs run inside and Peepers pushes Hater in] I may not have an exact plan to stop Dominator, but I'm confident I will! [Hater's ship takes off from behind the house and blasts Awesome's house to dust.] Commander Peepers! [Canned laughter. The paperboy rides by again and throws a paper at Awesome's face.]
Paperboy: Oh, hey, Mr. Awesome.
Emperor Awesome: Hey, Jimmy.
[Applause. Episode ends.]
# Bad neighbors # Where do all the villains go When Dominator's drilled and dried Send 'em back to the Bad Guy cul-de-sac And watch the sparks fly, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors